worlds collide
by tatty ted
Summary: [INSPECTOR MORSE/CASUALTY] Amanda Turner, Miriam's only daughter finds some letters addressed to a Miss. S. Maxton that her mother's kept for safe keeping. Determined to discover who exactly the letters belong too, Amanda and her best friend Amy investigate but are two sixteen year olds ready for the truth that will shatter apart twenty years worth of lies? - —Miriam/OC.
1. i — prologue

_NOTES_ — read with caution, will eventually deal with child abuse.  
>You don't need to have seen, <em>Inspector Morse; The Infernal Serpent<em>

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><p><strong>worlds collide<br>**i was only eight years old that summer  
>&amp; i always seemed to be in the way<br>independence day — martina mcbride.

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><p><em>(PROLOGUE.) <em>**3rd January 1990.**

She doesn't have to touch him to know he's dead. The hole in his head and the blood he's sat in, pretty much tells her that.

She doesn't feel an ounce of remorse for his death. She's numb, not feeling a thing. She's glad he's dead, (_he had it coming_) but she's upset because Phil's going to spend the rest of his life in prison protecting his daughter.

His daughter, Mandy. Who's going to look after her now? Her father locked away for murder, her mother dead from a drug overdose. The young girl confused, messed up and worst of all, blaming herself for what _he _did to her.

There's always her, she could look after her but that wouldn't be very good. She's got her own problems and her own demons to deal with, it wouldn't be far to drag an innocent girl into it all.

_(although sylvie wouldn't call her innocent anymore.)_

She packs her suitcase, not sure where she's going to go. All she knows is that she's got to get away from here before the rumours start to circulate.

She takes a taxi to Oxford Railway Station and boards the first train she sees. She doesn't care if she's got to travel nine and a half hours to a place nobody knows her, at least the past will be where it belongs.

_Hidden._

She ends up in Plymouth, going under the alias Miriam Turner. She tells herself she'll call herself that until the case has died dow She doesn't think for a moment that twenty years later she'll still be calling herself Miriam Turner with a convincing past story to tell all.

/

**15th November 1990.**

She got married today, in a church. It was raining, she got soaked but she didn't care.

At the alter, she doesn't think of her husband-to-be once. Instead, she finds herself thinking of Phil, her partner in crime and the person she was secretly in love with.

She doesn't know why she's thinking about him, she knows it's wrong too.

Today's her wedding day for Christ sake.

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife." The vicer announces and she smiles softly. As her husband kisses her softly, she wonders whether he'd stick to the vows if he found out her real identity.

_(there's always tomorrow, she thinks as they walk down the aisle together.)_

/

**29th April 1991.**

That's the date the first letter arrives. It's on the doorstep amongst the other letters and she's the first to find it, thankfully.

It's addressed to Miss. S. Maxton and she tears the envelope open, takes out the letter and see's that familiar handwritting. With a shaky hand, she unfolds the paper and begins to read;

_Dear Sylvie,_

_I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to write to you, there's no excuse for the lack of contact_. _I'm also sorry for not sticking to our plan either, if I had done, none of us would be in this mess. _

_I hope you're able to forgive me, eventually._

_Mandy asks about you a lot, she always wants to know when you're going to visit. I just tell her your busy in the office and working hard like usual. Will you visit her? I hope so, you're the only one who understands the pain that monster put her through._

_She still plays the piano, I never thought I'd miss the sound here but I do. She's with a nice foster family, they make her happy and that's all that matters. As long as my little girl's happy, I'm happy._

_Will you come and visit me Sylvie? It would be nice to see you._

_Phil x_

She see's the kiss at the end of the letter, sighs and scrunches up the paper. She puts it in the dustbin and knows she's playing a dangerous game. All it takes is for one letter to fall into the wrong hands and her whole life will come crashing down around her.

/

_if you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, mr brave man, i guess i am a coward. — jack handy._

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please review.


	2. ii

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><p><strong>chapter two<br>**i am covered in skin  
>no-one gets to come in<br>colourblind — counting crows.

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><p><em>(PRESENT DAY.)<em>

It was half past eight on a Tuesday afternoon and Miriam's fifteen year old daughter still hadn't woken up for school.

"Mandy!" She shouted up the stairs, "You're gonna be late for school."

As she went back into the kitchen, she took out two slices of toast out of the toaster and buttered them. At that very second, she heard footsteps from her daughter running down the stairs and she appeared in the kitchen.

The moment Miriam set eyes on her daughter, she nearly chocked on her piece of toast. Her daughters long brown hair was styled neatly in curls but her face was caked in makeup.

"Amanda, you look like a clown." Miriam told her with a smile. Her daughter shook her head and said it was only a little bit of makeup and there were girls who wore a lot more than her.

"A little bit." Miriam thought to herself. If that was a little bit, she'd hate to see those who wore _a lot _of makeup.

Been distracted by the amount of makeup that her daughter was wearing, she hadn't noticed the length of her daughter's school skirt and when she did, her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Amanda-May, pull that skirt down! Either that, or put some tights on!"

"But mum—" She began but before she could continue, Miriam cut her off; "No buts Amanda, do as your told for once."

She rolled her eyes, pulled the skirt down slightly and smiled sweetly.

"There." She announced. Miriam didn't notice the difference and told her to get to school before she was even more late.

"Bye mum." She said, kissed her cheek and took the last slice of toast from the plate. She smiled, picked up her school bag and left the kitchen. Upon hearing the door close Miriam sighed.

Sometimes her daughter could be a real handful.

/

Maths. Amanda's favourite subject. Well, it used to be until they got a new teacher. Mr Wooley, the way he always stared at her with his large brown eyes and it made her feel un-comfortable.

She walked into the lesson, fifteen minutes late, muttered her apologises and took a seat at the back of the classroom beside her best friend Amy.

"Well?" Amy said and nudged her. Amanda looked at her best friend, nodded and took out a letter from her bag.

"Another one came today." She told her and pushed it along the table. Amy picked up the letter and read the writing on the front.

"Why?"

Amy studied the envelope intensely before she spoke again, "Like the last eight, it's local." She gestured to the stamp in the right hand corner of the envelope; "But I don't know why."

There was a pause before Amy turned it over, "Could it not be addressed to someone who lived in the house before you?"

Amanda sighed,"I thought that but I found this." Amanda looked in her handbag and pulled out another letter. This time it wasn't in an envelope. Amy picked it up and began to read;

_Phil, _

_You're not the only one who changed their identity, able to 'forget' the past and move on. It doesn't work though, living under a new identity doesn't make it any easier. I still have the nightmares, the visions of his death, the feelings of what he put me through._

_It just makes you feel even more isolated in my eyes, you can't tell anyone. You want too, you just can't. _

_Maybe we should meet sometime?_

_Sylvie. xx_

"Oh my god, are you saying what I think your saying." Amy asked as she folded the letter back up and handed it back to Amanda, "That your mum's living a double life?"

"She's Sylvie, but why did she change her name?"

Amy shrugged as Amanda put the letter back in her handbag, opened her maths book and attempted to answer the questions that were written on the whiteboard.

/

He looked up from marking the year nine work to notice Amanda Turner and Amy Hyde whispering and exchanging letters. In that moment, he knew he was on to something.

/

Miriam got to work and upon seeing a certain person's car in her parking space, she decided to park right beside it so it was stuck in the parking space. Satisfied, she got out of the car, she remembered it could be considered revenge for the puddle incident.

"Miriam! You can't leave that parked there!" Hearing the legendary Nick Jordan, she turned around, smirked and answered;

"I can and I just did."

She turned around and walked into the hospital. She walked past reception where Noel looked up from the patient files and said; "Morning Ms Turner."

"Morning Noel." She answered back as she carried on towards her office. Once inside, she closed the door and walked over to the desk. Putting her bag on the desk, she sat down and took out another letter.

_Miss. S. Maxton._

She sighed, opened the letter and began to read.

/

_what is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance is understanding fear. That means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. we are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it. — _jiddu krishnamurti.

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review.


	3. iii

ϟ

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><p><strong>chapter two<strong>  
>in the summers night<br>when the moon shines bright  
><span>fly on the wings of love<span> — dj sammy.

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><p><em>Sylvie,<em>

_Maybe it's time we both dealt with the past, instead of running from it. It's just a suggestion, that's all but I know you Sylvie, I know your stubborn. _

_Phil xx_

/

She read the words, (_maybe it's time we both dealt with the past) _trying to make sense of it but she couldn't. Did she really want to face up to her past? The same past she had been running from for the last twenty years?

/

The bell rang for second period and in silence, Amanda gathered up her stuff. She put her handbag over her shoulder and pushed her chair underneath the table and walked slowly towards the door of the classroom.

"Amanda, is everything okay?" The voice of her teacher broke her out of her thoughts and she exchanged looks with her best friend Amy. Amy nodded, told Amanda she'd meet her where she usually did and left the classroom, closing the door behind her.

"Yes Sir, why wouldn't I be?"

He studied her for a minute and answered; "You and Amy seemed to be talking a lot this lesson."

"Sorry Sir." She muttered and looked at the floor.

"Amanda." He paused, "If there's something going on at home, you can trust me."

"There's nothing Sir." She replied back. Her mind was screaming about the lessons but she couldn't tell him, could she? She couldn't say that her mother was a complete stranger to her, with a different identity and all that.

"If your sure?" He pressed and she smiled weakily, "Positive."

"You may go." He told her and she walked to the door. She put her hand on the door handle, opened the door towards her and stepped out. As she closed the door behind her, their eyes met briefly until she looked away and disappeared down the corridor.

/

"A smart kid Sylvie's got there." He thought as he went back to his marking.

/

Folding the paper up and putting it back in the original envelope, Miriam put the letter in the bottom draw. Then, she stood up and walked down to the Emergency Department, hoping work would distract her.

She doubted it, it never did seem to work these days.

/

"What did creep want?" Amy asked when Amanda came to meet her. They were stood by the woods near the gym and they looked around before heading further into the trees. Getting to their usual spot, Amanda sat down on the tree log and answered;

"Wanted to know why I was distracted."

"And what did you say?" Amy asked as she took out a packet of cigarettes and took two cigarettes out.

"I didn't tell him anything." She answered back as Amy threw a cigarette in her direction. Catching it with both hands, she took out her pink lighter and lit the cigarette, breathed in deeply and sighed softly.

"I think you should have."

"Why?"

"Because it's gonna be on your mind all soddin' day now." They were sat in silence for ages, having a sneeky cigarette until Amanda annouced she wasn't going to Science and whether she'd be able to cover for her.

"What? Your gonna make me go to that shitty lesson on my own?"

Amanda laughed and nodded, "Please babe, I'll make it up to you I promise."

"You better had do." Amy replied with a smile, "What are you doing?"

/

"I'm going to confront mum, see if I can get anything out of her."

/

"You know Miss Flammington's gonna flip don't you?"

"I don't care." Amanda laughed and took a last drag of her cigarette. Blowing the smoke out in circles, she said; "Can you tell her I've got the Doctors. And no, I don't have an appointment card because I did it over the phone."

Amy stubbed out her cigarrette, grabbed her bag and stood up, "You're a rebel Mandy, what's your mother gonna say?"

/

And Amanda shrugged, "Right now, I don't care." She replied, threw her cigarette on the floor and stood up. Grabbing her bag, she put it over her shoulder and began to walk back towards school, her left arm linked with Amy.

/

_i don't know why i still smile. everything is hurting me, everything makes my heart die a little bit more. it's tearing me apart_. _— kimberly_.

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review.  
>nearly at the end now, it wasn't going to be a really long one. (:<p> 


	4. iv

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><p><strong>chapter three<strong>  
>i can be your hero baby,<br>i can kiss away the pain  
><span>hero<span> — enrique iglesias.

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><p>"I'll text you when I'm on my way back yeah?" Amanda told Amy as they were stood outside the science block. Amy nodded and they embraced each other before they walked off in opposite directions.<p>

Amanda was just about to go through the gates when the stern voice of her headmistress stopped her in her tracks.

"Where do you think your going!"

She turned around, a soft smile on her face and answered; "I got the Doctors."

"Do you have an appointment card?"

Amanda shook her head, "Sadly not, I made the appointment over the telephone."

"How convenient." She replied to which Amanda muttered a swear word under her breath. Thankfully, the headmistress hadn't heard and they were stood in silence for a minute before Amanda asked;

"Look, can I go? As much as standing here talking to you is wonderful, I do have an appointment to go to." She said sarcastically.

"Less of the attitude Amanda and yes, you may go."

"Thank you." Amanda replied and hurried off out of the school grounds. That was a close call, she thought as she walked to the bus stop. The headmistress, Miss Booth stood there for a minute and decided to check with Amanda's mother to see if an appointment really did exist.

/

"Amanda.." Miss Flammington read the name out of the register and looked straight at Amy, "Where's Amanda?"

"Doctors appointment." She told her with a smile, "But she hasn't got one of those card things."

The class sniggered and Miss Flammington muttered something underneath her breath to which Amy called her a bitch for. The only trouble was Amy hadn't whispered it, no in true Amy style she called her a bitch in front of everyone.

The class gasped as Miss Flammington turned bright red and yelled at her to get out of her classroom. Amy smirked, stood up from the stool and grabbed her handbag before walking to the classroom door.

"With pleasure." She told her, pulled the door opened and then said; "You're a shit teacher, how the fuck you got the job I'll never know."

And as the door slammed closed behind her, the whole class burst out laughing.

/

"Ms Turner, there's a telephone call for you." Noel said as Miriam walked past.

"I'll take it in the office, thanks Noel." She smiled and walked to her office. Once inside, she put the patient file on the desk, sat down and picked up the telephone.

/

"Hello?"

_"Hello Ms Turner, it's Miss Booth from Holby High School."_

Miriam sighed. Whenever she recieved a phone call from the headmistress it was usually because Amanda had got into an argument with a teacher, a physical altercation with another student or did something stupid, ie; flood the girls bathroom.

"What's Amanda done now?"

_"That's the thing, Amanda hasn't done anything. I caught her leaving school about ten minutes ago and when I asked where she was heading, she claimed to have a Doctors appointment. I just wondered if you knew anything about it."_

"No, I don't but Amanda is fifteen. She's allowed to visit the Doctor without informing me."

"_I understand that Ms Turner but it's against school rules to make appointments within school time_."

Miriam rolled her eyes and told her she was rather busy and she'd have to cut the conversation short. She put the phone down, grabbed the patient file back off the desk and returned downstairs, thankfully her daughter wasn't in trouble.

/

Miss Booth stared at the phone in disbelief. If _that_ was the attitude of her mother, no wonder Amanda seemed so rude.

/

Amanda was on the bus heading in the direction of the hospital when she felt the vibration of her phone. Picking it up, she unlocked the phone and opened up the one new message.

_Been sent out of Miss P's lesson. x_

With a smile, she replied; _Your such a lil shit. x_

A minute or two later and Amanda recieved another one; _Not as much as you. x_

_inoo. your worse (: x _She texted back, locked her phone and returned it to her pocket. Seeing her stop come into view, Amanda got up of the seat, walked down the aisle and pressed the button.

As the bus came to a halt outside the hospital, she smiled; thanked the bus driver and got off.

/

She felt sick and nervous, what if she wasn't ready for the truth?

/

_i've learnt that it takes years to build up trust and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it._ —unknown.

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review.  
>i've flooded the girls bathroom before, something that i'm not proud off now i'm old. :L<p> 


	5. v

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><p><strong>chapter four<br>**& i don't want you  
>to go to bed mad at me<br>mad — neyo.

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><p>Folding her arms across her chest, she took a deep breath (<em>or two<em>) and walked into the hospital grounds. She walked to the other side and into the Emergency Department where she walked over to the desk in the middle.

"It's Amanda isn't it?"

"Amanda, Mandy, Mand, I don't mind. Is my mum around?"

"She's in Resus at the moment, take a seat and I'll tell her you're here."

"I'll probably be walking around, thanks Noel."

He smiled as Amanda walked off towards the vending machine.

/

Putting some change in the machine, Amanda got a can of cherry coke and tried to get a chocolate bar. However, the machine decided against letting her have it and in frustration, she kicked it several times.

"No need to kick our machinery." A familiar voice told her and she looked up, her eyes falling on Nick Jordan.

"Well you need to do something when the little duck has taken your money!" She replied and kicked it again. When he realised who he was talking to, he laughed and shook his head. Amanda was so like Miriam in the way she always answered back to everyone.

"Your mum's in Resus." He told her and she answered, "I know that! If she wasn't, I wouldn't have lost a quid with this shitty thing would I?"

Realising that it was uncalled for, she sighed and apologised. He smiled, relieved slightly that she hadn't inherited Miriam's lack of saying sorry, even when she was the one in the wrong.

/

"Want to wait in the office?" He suggested and she nodded, put the can in her handbag and followed him.

/

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" He told her as she sat down.

"Well done Sherlock." She answered, "I just couldn't face Science plus I need to talk to mum."

"Could it not wait until after school?"

"If it could would I be here?" She answered, "Nope. God Doctors are supposed to be smart but they don't half ask some ridiculous questions."

He laughed at her, her sarcasm was better than Miriam's and that was saying something. She made eye contact with him, smiled and again, apologised for been a bit harsh, it wasn't his fault if he was a bit simple.

/

Nick left her alone in the office and she began to text Amy.

_Dead scared babe, wish u were here. x_

She put the phone on her lap and sighed. It didn't take long for Amanda's phone began to ring, Amy's name flashing up on the screen. Accepting the phone call, Amanda pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

_"Mandy, bet your wondering why I'm calling you aren't you?"_

"Yeah, just a bit." She answered with a smile, "Lemme guess, sent out of science again?"

_"Yeah, I mixed some chemicals together and next minute it went boom and shit everyone up."_

Amanda laughed, "And you say I'm bad."

_"You are! You flooded the girls toilets last term."_

"Once. How many times have you done the explosion in science?"

"_Several. Alright, alright, you've got a point. Anyway, I've got to go; Grimhilde is on the warpath."_

Amanda started to laugh, "Alright darling, speak soon. Love you." Grimhilde was the name they gave the headmistress for the fact she acted, (and looked) like Snow White's evil step-mother. Ending the call, she put her phone back in her pocket and waited.

/

"Miriam, Amanda's here to see you." Nick said as Miriam came out of Resus. She nodded, thanked him for telling her and went to the office, wondering what Amanda wanted that couldn't wait a couple of hours.

/

"Amanda!" Miriam shouted as she got into the office, "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"I need to talk to you." She began, "And no, it can't wait a couple of hours."

/

"What's so important?" She asked as she sat down beside Amanda. Amanda hadn't thought about what she was going to do, or what she was going to say so she simply took the letters out of her handbag and handed them to Miriam.

"I found these."

She looked down at the letters and sighed, "Amanda, they're not important."

"Yes they are! You've been hiding them for years!" She made eye contact with her mother and sighed, "Please mum, tell me the truth."

/

"Mandy, I don't know what you want me to say." She stood up and walked over to the bin. She dropped the letters in the bin and turned to her daughter. There wasn't a word spoken between them before she told her; "They're the past."

/

"I know your Sylvie." Amanda replied; "Just tell me why you changed your name and perhaps I'll understand why you've spent so long lying to yourself and everyone around you. Please, it's the least you can do, right?"

/

And she knew there was no way out of this one. Here it was, the moment she had been dreading for twenty years.

/

_friends don't have to understand, do you favors, hold your hand, care for you, give you courage and see you through. friends don't have to be but they do. —unknown._

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review.  
>cherry coke is the sex. :3 the action really starts in the NEXT CHAPTER :D<p> 


	6. vi

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><p><strong>chapter five<br>**i'd stand up & punch them out  
>'cause they're all wrong<br>who knew — pink.

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><p>"You wouldn't understand."<p>

"Try me. I'm not a little girl anymore mum."

/

"I never had a great relationship with my parents growing up so when I was nine, I was taken in by a couple called Blanche and Matthew Copley-Barnes. They had a daughter Imogen, she was two years younger."

She was silent for a moment or two; "I liked it there, I loved the feeling of being part of a family. Then, when I was eleven, I was invited on holiday with them and I agreed. I wish I hadn't."

/

"There was a snake on the rock, I screamed." She paused, "He put his arms around me and touched me for the first time."

Amanda saw the flicker of hurt in her eyes, "Mum, you don't have to tell me."

"You want to know and it's about time, I faced up to it." She answered back.

/

"From the age of eleven to sixteen, he abused me. I developed a drinking problem, got in trouble with the police a lot. Then, I got offered to study at Oxford University, a scholarship but I couldn't take it so I moved away."

/

"I studied Journalism at a nearby University, became successful and years down the line, I went back to Oxford, I went back to _him_."

/

"Why?" Amanda asked and nibbled her bottom lip, "If he abused you why did you go back?"

"Because my plan was to bring him down, finally get justice after all these years."

/

"What happened?"

"It got complicated."

"How?"

/

"Phil, the gardener had a daughter. She was called Amanda, she was eight. I named you after her. She was so sweet and clean but he was abusing her. Then, one drunken night; Phil killed an innocent man that he thought was the Master."

"So what happened next?"

"The Master died." She added bluntly and turned to her daughter.

"You didn't kill him did you?" She didn't get a reply at first, "Mum! Please tell me you didn't kill him."

/

"No, I didn't. I want too though, he definitely had it coming."

Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad her mother wasn't a murderer, "Who killed him?"

"His wife killed him."

"So, why did you change your name?"

"Why do you think Amanda? Sylvie is damaged goods. I left Oxford, moved to Plymouth and told myself I'd name myself Miriam until the case died down. I din't realise that twenty years later I'd still be using the name."

/

"And the letters?"

/

"I got them once a week, from Phil. I never really understand how he managed to track me down."

"Did you always reply to him?"

"Of course. He was the only man ever to know what _he _put me through."

/

"Will you ever go back to calling yourself Sylvie?"

/

Miriam took a step towards Amanda, pulled her into a hug and whispered; "Never."

There was nothing but silence between them, before Miriam said; "I'm just sorry I never told you the truth."

/

"No more lies?" Amanda asked and stuck out her little finger.

"No more lies." Miriam replied and stuck out her own little finger, "Pinky promise."

/

_a daughter is a day brightener and a heart warmer. —unknown._

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><p><strong>an**: if you like it enough to favourite/alert, please leave a review.  
>so, here it is - it is finished. what do you think? (:<p> 


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